I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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