another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize