Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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