my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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