I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
