grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
