I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
