your room smells of hookers.
And success
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize