how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize