Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize