Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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