Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
