i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
