Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize