CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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