Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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