Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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