i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
