Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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