I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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