you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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