the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
