Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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