I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
