apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
