Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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