oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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