If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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