Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize