Kiss
Puke
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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