remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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