It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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