can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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