i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
