So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
