goodnight i made you a song goodbye
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
