he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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