Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
