My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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