i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
