tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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