You're completely useless in the revolution.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
