My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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