Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
