Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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