Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
