I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
