Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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