his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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