Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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