My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
