haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
