how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
