I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
