this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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