So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize