I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
