...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He? As in you personified your dick?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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