Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
