I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
