You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
