Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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