the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
